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Donkey / Mule Jokes -  collection from circulating emails

You've Had Way Too Much Coffee When...


Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
 

The Best Diet Ever!

The  Best Diet Ever!!! Just had to share this.    
 It seems the major priority people want to accomplish is to lose weight.
 A friend of mine has done a lot of study and research on dieting.
 I TRULY think she has found the real answer to weight loss, the Don Key Diet.    

And it is so SIMPLE. 
  
I don't know why I wasn't smart enough
 to figure this out for myself !!!


 

 "The Donkey and The Mule", sent by Donald R of Washington.

In ancient times, A caravan driver set forth on a journey, driving before him an Donkey and a Mule, both well laden. The Donkey, as long as he traveled along the plain, carried his load with ease, but when he began to ascend the steep path of the mountain, felt his load to be more than he could bear.

He entreated his companion to relieve him of a small portion, that he might carry home the rest; but the Mule paid no attention to the request. The Donkey shortly afterwards fell down dead under his burden

Not knowing what else to do in so wild a region, the caravan driver placed upon the Mule the load carried by the Donkey in addition to his own, and at the top of all placed the hide of the Donkey, after he had skinned him.

The Mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself: "I am treated according to my deserts. If I had only been willing to assist the Donkey a little in his need, I should not now be bearing, together with his burden, himself as well."

From Rex Barker HumorNetwork.com

"The Two Mules", sent by Ogi Z.

Two mules traveled regularly together with their loads, from their town to the city. The first mule, a humble beast, wore a tatty cloak, and carried sacks of oats for the miller. The second mule was an arrogant animal, who wore a fine coat with jingling bells.

He carried gold and silver coins for the tax collector, and loved to brag about his responsibility and importance. Running late one day, the second mule suggested taking a short-cut, off the main road, despite his companion's warnings about the risks of taking such a dangerous route. Sure enough, before too long, thieves attacked the second mule, stealing his valuable load, and leaving him injured by the roadside.

"But why me?" moaned the stricken animal, "I am attacked and robbed while the vagabonds leave you untouched?"

"I think even in this desperate place no thief would be interested in a poor miller's slave, or my humble load!" said the first mule, "But you ventured down this dangerous track and made a show of yourself - you have only yourself to blame."

From Rex Barker HumorNetwork.com

The Donkey and The Raffle

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."

Farmer, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."

Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron...

 

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